An Apology
We deeply regret that there is no teaching this month, but a serious problem arose at the headquarters of The Dolphin Sky Foundation earlier this week which set the whole organization reeling. We had just settled in for a round of spirit channeling, mutual masturbation, aroma therapy and Zen twister when we realized with much alarm that we had all misplaced our inner children.
   This caused great confusion among the staff members and a general hubbub throughout the Foundation, with several members rushing off in all directions at once calling out their inner childrens' names at the top of their lungs. Our secretary thought she saw hers underneath one of the Yugos in the parking lot, but this proved to be only some other unrelated child.
   Eventually it was determined that our inner children ran off with the circus that had just left town and were headed to Toronto. Being winter, none of us were desirous to visit the Great White North and will attempt to contact these errant children of ours after the Spring thaw. Meanwhile, we figure they can hardly get into too much trouble in Canada, although we hope they do not pick up the accent or a craving for Molsons, back bacon or toques.
   We are now back to a semblance of normalcy, though who can ever be truly normal when their inner child is shoveling elephant dung somewhere in Canada? Anyway, we are doing our best and are preparing the March teaching as I write. Also, further progress has been made on the palimpsests that were discovered outside Cairo several years ago and more information on Master Akiryon's early lives should be forthcoming.
   Most importantly, however, the rumor that the late Master Akiryon Baba Yat was seen alive in or around Tora Bora is completely untrue. Though a counselor to the bin Laden family in his later years, he was never acquainted with the infamous Osama, nor would he likely have found him an enjoyable dinner companion, Akiryon having rejected severe asceticism in his youth, opting for a more sumptuous lifestyle that included several earthly delights which Osama would surely have frowned upon, at least publicly. So reports of an old, bearded man waving his arms, jumping up and down and encouraging the last straggling, starving and wounded remnants of Al Qaeda and the Taliban to fight to the very last man and assuring them that victory is in their grasp if they'll only reach out and seize it being Master Akiryon Baba Yat are patently false.
   Thank you,
   K Lowell, Editor

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