The Adventure of the Family Jewels
My time spent in solitude with naught but my dolphin companions provided me with the necessary time and freedom to develop and buttress the greatest of all teachings, the Law of Solubility, for which I have become renowned. Hours beyond measure I spent in fiery contemplation of these truths, sustaining the body on the piscine nourishment my cetacean benefactors would generously bestow upon me daily. It was then in the Years of Much Fish that my mind became so in tune with the harmonies of the cosmos that there was naught beyond my ken. Even the most subtle of enigmas unraveled like a poorly woven sock before my piercing consciousness. This finely honed skill was to serve me well on many occasions. Here then is a tale of such a puzzlement that was presented for my unknotting.
   It was several centuries past that I was on the continent of Asia, in the region of what is now Canton. I had been called upon by the Emperor to solve the mystery of the Continually Farting Buddha. It seems that the great statue had become quite noisome, a horrible, fetid aroma being emitted regularly in the presence of the monks whose duty it was to care for the gigantic stone god, causing them great olfactory discomfort. But through my knowledge of solubility I was able to deduce the cause of this baffling and disgusting mystery, demonstrating that the statue had been erected on an unknown and insolent sulfur vent. It was then a simple choice of either moving the 300 ton statue or rerouting the vent. The vent was therefore rerouted and the Buddha's contented smile was no longer one of shamefaced embarrassment, but holy torpidity.
   My mission completed, I was boarding the bark The Giant Rat of Sumatra, bound for Siam, when an old friend ran panting up the gangplank, his eyes wild with panic and terror.
   "Master Akiryon!" he cried, his breath coming in gasps. "Lord Buddha be thanked I have not come too late! Your presence is urgently required!"
   "Ah, my good friend Wat Sen," I replied to the faithfull butler to the lord Cheng. "What is the cause of this great distress? The flying monkey-demons have not returned to further harass and befoul those meditating in the sand garden, I pray. They were a recalcitrant lot and uncommonly blasphemous even for flying monkey-demons."
   "No, Master," replied Wat Sen, atremble with fear in every limb, "it is something much worse. The lord Cheng has become filled with ungovernable rage. Every day some precious bauble from his horde of family jewels is being being purloined from his regal bedchamber, yet there is not a single clue as to how this is being accomplished. His rings, necklaces and golden jewelry have just disappeared. He has executed several of the servants already. There remains only Lo Mein, Won Ton, Mor Shu and myself whose heads on not on poles outside the gates."
   "This bodes not well," I said. "There is an urgency in my spleen that will not be denied. I will come at once and put matters aright."
   On reaching the castle, I found the situation as Wat Sen had described it. Lord Cheng was beside himself with fury and had in fact just beheaded the unfortunate Won Ton, his head now joining the others outside the great wooden gates.
   "Lord Cheng," I cried, "desist from this violence! I will get to the root of this mystery. Stay your sword for but a day."
   "As you wish, Master Akiryon," he answered red-faced, "but I will not be made a fool in my own home. This impertinent thieving must cease at once. Besides, I am nearly out of servants, the dust knows no bounds and the steps have not been swept in days. A man cannot live in this disorder."
   "But why are you so certain that your faithful servants have been responsible for these dastardly deeds?"
   "Who else could it be?"
   "That is what we shall determine."
   I then inspected lord Cheng's bedchamber. There were two windows, but they would have been difficult for all but the thinnest of men to enter. Not only that, they were over 60 feet above the courtyard. The walls were sheer stone fitted so that not even a fingernail could be inserted betwixt them. The bedroom door had been securely bolted and servants stationed as was customary outside. There was no other entrance. Looking down to the courtyard below, I began to see a glimmer of the truth. In the center of the bare stone courtyard grew an ancient and hoary lemon tree. "Wat Sen," I cried, "The game's afoot! Come with me!"
   That night, with the aid of Wat Sen, I climbed into the fragrant lemon tree. It was from there that I could keep watch on lord Cheng's room. I thanked my friend and told him I would see him in the morning as I settled on a large branch to begin the moist and lonely vigil.
  When morning came, I strode into lord Cheng's chamber, accompanied by the sleepy and frightened Wat Sen. "My lord slept well?" I inquired.
   "No, Master Akiryon, I did not. I dreamt that I had this huge and misshapen...What? My signet ring is gone! Where is Lo Mein? His head shall join those of his fellow thieves outside the gates!"
   "Calm yourself, my lord. It is here, as are all your missing jewels." With that I laid my handkerchief on the side table and unwrapped its precious, sparkling contents.
   "What manner of wizardry is this, Master Akiryon?" the great ruler cried.
   "No wizardry, my lord. I knew that a man could not be the thief. I have seen this sort of thing before. Looking out your window, I spied the lone lemon tree. Therefore with the aid of your faithful servant, Wat Sen, I climbed the tree and waited. As I perched on a bough, a subtle gleam caught my eye. Then I spied a mynah bird on your roof. They are the worst of thieves, with a lust for all that sparkles. But they must have a roost and a place to nest. There was only one place: the lemon tree in the courtyard. There is no other tree. And there, within arm's reach was a nest, filled with my lord's jewelry. I gathered it up and soon was rewarded for my patience by seeing the mynah bird drop your signet ring into its twiggy lair. I fear you owe those rotting heads outside your gates an apology."
   "But this is amazing! You are a wonder, Master Akiryon," exclaimed lord Cheng.
   "Truly," echoed Wat Sen. "But what was the clue? How were you able to deduce this?"
   "A lemon tree, my dear Wat Sen. A lemon tree."

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